mind-numb-dumb-aplomb

"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself ... ... of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." - Jackie Mason

After spending a weekend partying in coffee shops, aligning beer bottles and shot glasses next to each other, and hardly donating a minute to the cause of sleep, I ended up sick. Not a surprise. I did achieve, however, in my waking weekend moments, turning bittersweet chocolate into something fondu-able for my friend Ted's birthday, throwing a smashing going away barbecue for my mate, Eileen, who has now left for San Fran, reacquainting with a super old pal, and acquiring some random sickness that fills my head with heat and intercepts any notion of spacial awareness.

I then had a very busy early week at work and so had to work through the sickness, which of course made it worse. At the height of sickness, while running a large event with lots of people, including the Treasurer of Chicago (random), I had to communicate with quite a few people, but I could not tell how loud I was speaking nor could I tell if anyone could hear me, nor did I have the capacity to speak louder, as I had lost my voice. Instead of being frustrated with this isolating communication incident, I actually kind of fell into it, like one might into a room full of pillows. There was nothing I could do more than what I was doing and so, in this very exciting way, I actually relaxed into a complete sick mess of human-being. And then I luckily took the next day off to recover. In this way, I really like the quote I open this blog entry with (and I know I'm usually not so literal in explaining the point of the post, but I'm afraid the point might be missed). If we allow ourselves to fall into a sickness (which might be replaced with the word "unique traits"), then I think we might ultimately find our happiness - which for each of us is unique, right.

Not to go too philosophical here, but if we choose to say join a knitting club and go full-tilt knitting, even at a ripe age, because we love it, and don't fear the perceptions (which it seems many 20-somethings are obsessed with (i cite wicker park)) it's probably a good formula for fulfillment.

fresh