Determine never to be idle... It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. Thomas Jeffersonmost nights i go to bars, which is just a handful of nights every month (perhaps this is why), i find myself staring at some decoration on the wall, notch(es) in the table, white spot on the wall, the evenness of the brick work, counting the track lights highlighting random pieces of art such as a giant dead and seemingly moaning fish last night, and, eventually, if given proper time and beer, composing all these observations into a thesis in which i debate the overall theme of the bar compared to its clientele and wonder what precisely IS being accomplished.
usually, i can't find anything being accomplished at all and so i reach a sort of stand still. (in the case of last night, i couldn't even decide what the theme of the bar was as it had palm trees and coconuts, but dark brick walls and modern art that looked like the type of geometric graphics i traced on my folders in jr. high.)
it's usually at this point that i glance around me at the people who seem confident, the people who want to seem confident but are clutching the beer too tightly relying on it as a prop the way fighters used to clutch swords, or whose eyes betray his/her physical composure and hipster dress by darting across the room each time they think they might be noticed. this is frustrating, so i go to the bathroom, hoping to find relief with a bit of solace (i always choose a stall, when available). i return to the scene of the bar with fresh eyes and order a new drink and repeat.
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