Wednesday, October 31, 2007

pilgrims eat jelly donuts and get sticky

quote:

"yo man, hey man, right man."

i went to the local pizza place - humboldt pie - last evening. it was splendid really, but i always get this feeling like i don't fit there. for one, most people drink coffee and sit on laptops on the periphery of the restaurant. i usually sit somewhere middleish and make all kinds of racket with loud stories. i notice the stares from faces lit up like jack-o-lanterns from the laptops cradled on their tables (sorry, had to make the halloween reference). if you are one of these people or ever have been one of these people, understand this: there is a world outside your laptop and you are in it.

when i awkwardly left my table to order a sandwich, i was greeted by the cashier / sandwich guy with lots of "man." he said, "hey, man." "good choice, man." "alright man, i'll bring that our to your table man." and, of course, when he lay down my food he said, "here you go, man."

i felt especially assured of my manhood. i didn't have to do my usual nightly check. i thank you. man.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

powerful elastic cords

quote: "kumquat, vonderfulen, ploop"
The three current favorite words of our domicile.

Halloween is on the horizon, and for the first time I can remember since my mother had complete artistic control over my Halloween costume, I have a costume before the day of Halloween. I remember a couple years ago I found an over-sized sweater, ripped jeans and a grey newsies hat in my closet and I called myself an Irish Longshoresmen. I don't know if such a thing exists, however, I can tell you that the title of the costume did me well. The costume, a collection of mismatched oversized clothes that most nearly represented a homeless newpaper boy, did not do me quite as well.

Situation 1 (over loud music):
Hey! How are you doing?!
Great! What are you?
Oh, I'm a scottish longshoremen! *
Ha, OK.
(exeunt)

Note * I changed the title throughout the night, due to varying sobriety, lack of known distinguishing traits between Scottish and Irish Longshoresmen, complete idioticness.

Situation 2 (in the bathroom, over peeing, music in order of disturbance):
Pregnant Pause
Dude, what are you?
Pregnant Pause
(Exuent)

Happy Halloween everyone. Tis' the weekend for parties. Drive safe, avoid eggs.

Oh, and if you do see me, I'll have a whip. That's my only clue. Dismissed.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


So, it probably shouldn't have been 72 degrees in late October. But it sure was nice.
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Saturday, October 20, 2007

swimming in circles of influence bespectacled with beer goggles

quote:
Determine never to be idle... It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. Thomas Jefferson
most nights i go to bars, which is just a handful of nights every month (perhaps this is why), i find myself staring at some decoration on the wall, notch(es) in the table, white spot on the wall, the evenness of the brick work, counting the track lights highlighting random pieces of art such as a giant dead and seemingly moaning fish last night, and, eventually, if given proper time and beer, composing all these observations into a thesis in which i debate the overall theme of the bar compared to its clientele and wonder what precisely IS being accomplished.

usually, i can't find anything being accomplished at all and so i reach a sort of stand still. (in the case of last night, i couldn't even decide what the theme of the bar was as it had palm trees and coconuts, but dark brick walls and modern art that looked like the type of geometric graphics i traced on my folders in jr. high.)

it's usually at this point that i glance around me at the people who seem confident, the people who want to seem confident but are clutching the beer too tightly relying on it as a prop the way fighters used to clutch swords, or whose eyes betray his/her physical composure and hipster dress by darting across the room each time they think they might be noticed. this is frustrating, so i go to the bathroom, hoping to find relief with a bit of solace (i always choose a stall, when available). i return to the scene of the bar with fresh eyes and order a new drink and repeat.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

let the kittens lick our hair and drink our lemonade

quote of the day:
"An extensive series of slight bends in principal are responsible for the freedom of our world today."
- ranting at the bus stop before the inclement october storm
i begin. breathe. a blog.

electronic thoughts, albeit with a bit of lint. i exhale digital dust, (1's and 0's fornicate in the air). i'm afraid of this format, but i will embrace it as comfortably as possible. (imagine a figure hugging a bulky computer monitor).

it's awkward like a miniature walrus doing gymnastics in a bowl of jello, but it might just work.

keep the address in the case of accidental brilliance.